I just wanted to share this. And yes I know, there are worse things people have to deal with these days.

I haven't been able to play football for more than 10 months now.

In the meantime, I live the life of my dreams in Bali and I keep myself crazy busy with training on my own every day.

But, I must admit: some days I'm struggling mentally.

Because I'm waiting in the dark for already 10 months to get clarity on my future as an athlete.

When can I do the thing I love most in life? When will I ever play football again? if so, will it be the same as before? Will I still become financially independent because of football? Will I still reach my goals and targets I have set for myself?

The most frustrating part is, Its not in my own control.

If you know me, luckily I have always made myself busy with more than football. I'm an entrepreneur outside the pitch. But, I don't want to dedicate myself too much on entrepreneurship at this moment in life. I cant live without football yet. This time made me realize that even more.

I love being creative, develop business ideas.
Building brands. Discover and travel the world.

But being left in the dark kills me mentally some days. I know people go through tougher times. But, I felt like I needed to share this feeling.